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I came to believe that the me inside of me is the same since my earliest memories can reach.

I came to believe that time and experience have changed my flesh and matured my way of thinking but have had no impact on the core or the essence of what constitutes the me.

And I think that the me is the part of me that remembers.

Here is what I remember when I look at the picture you see in this post.

My mom leans over me and picks me up.  She places me on the chair.  The cushion of the chair is soft and springy.  I try to be still and I am afraid to lean back.  I look down and I see the tips of my yellow shoes being scratched and I don’t like it.  Mom asks me to hold my doll and then she moves back a couple of steps to look at me.

“No.  It doesn’t look right.  The doll is too big.  It covers her too much,”  my mom says to the photographer, a woman who will take my picture.

Both women look at me, come closer to the chair and then move back.  They move fast, I try to be still.

“Do you have a toy we can borrow?  Something smaller?”  my mom asks.

The photographer passes me on the left and disappears behind the black curtain.  I turn slowly to look back, to see what she is doing.  I want to go there with her.  I want to see what’s behind the black curtain.

She comes back and hands me a little puppet.

“That’s better,” my mom says and comes closer.  She touches my hands and says:

“Danuta, don’t squeeze it so much.  Hold it gently.”

I understand what she says and I want to do it but I can’t.  My hands don’t listen to me.  I can’t even open them.  I try to be still on the soft cushion.  I can feel the springs in the cushion and this is what makes me be still.

Mom places my doll on the chair next to me and she lifts the doll’s arm.  Now she moves back and says:

“Danuta, smile.”  And she smiles at me in a strange way.

She encourages me a couple of times.  I remember what smile is but somehow I can’t do it.  I am confused.

Today, when I look at the picture the me inside of me comes to the surface and I am the one year old Danuta on the chair again, as if there was no time that past between then and now.

When I become still and look down (but sort of inward), I see two women hovering over me.  I don’t really remember the exact words (I can’t hear them) but I remember what was being said.

I remember the feelings and moods of that day more than anything else.  My mom was nervous because my father was late.  I don’t remember him joining us but I know that he came because I have a picture of the three of us from that day.  I also remember the speed of things, much too fast for me.  The photographer going behind the curtain, my mom moving back and forth to look at me, wobbly chair, my immobile hands.  I remember wearing an amber color top with one button on the back and black pants.  And of course the ankle high leather shoes.

Even though, I came to believe that the me is the core or the essence of me, sometimes I wonder if I am right.  Do I really bypass the time?  Can I feel the moment from years ago?  Can I truly remember?  How much of the me is shaped by stories I have heard and told over the years of my life?  Why is it that the me feels so strongly like the essence of who I am?  Like the place where I belong? Like home.

32 Responses to “Memories: How much do we remember?”

  1. Bell Noor says:

    I so, love your work, thanks for sharing the co-essence of life…nothing changes but everything does ..

  2. Sylvia says:

    Danuta I love this post so much!Thank you for sharing your memories!just love it!!


  3. Marsha says:

    I can’t believe how much you remember from age one!

    My earliest memories are snapshots. In the dining room asking my big sister for a choo-choo. She laughs, steps into the living room where all the family is sitting (do families do that anymore?) and tells them what I said. They all laugh at my pronunciation of tissue.

    For the first time in my life I am a hit. They like me.

  4. Nicholas K. says:

    There are many memories that I have as a child, the bring the past back into my mind as though as it was yesterday. One story I remember was one i had just become a United States Citizen, hailing orgins from Ukraine. I was only about a 2 years old, and we just returned home from the United States Judicial court to officate the adoption and citizenship. I was wearing a red shirt, with dep blue overalls, and was very tired form the long and overwhelming day.

    We just avvired backl to my grandparents house, where ,my parents were talking with my grandparents where they spoke of what they had accomplished, and what lied ahead of them with their new son. I personally recall bumping my head on a table that moment. It was very painful , and my grandfather grabbed me quickly and took me to bathmroom cabniet. He had been a medic in World War 2, and quickly stiched up my wounds. Then , al was better and the day could continue form there.

    The scar where the stiches once were, are my reminder of that day, and also where I came from . I very proud of my heritage, and will livbe with it for a very long time

  5. Andrew says:

    I do not remember much from really early on, but I do remember ages 3 and 4 at the earliest. As a child I never got a professional photo done. I believe that is why you can remember that day because it would be a big deal for a small child. I remember one distinct incident that I can compare to yours. When I was around 4 years old I can remember my mother and I going to a farm where there are a lot of other younger children who play with the ducks, and all the other animals. I remember picking up a baby duck and getting bit then I started to scream and cry. As of this present moment this is the oldest memory I can think of.

  6. Kimmi says:

    After reading your entry, i was able to reconnect with my own memories. I remember my first picture, but my first was with my family. It had taken us two hours to get there because my mom had accidentally missed our exit, twice! i was one year old as well. Whille looking out the window of the car, everything seemed to be moving by so fast that i could not understand what was happening or where we were going. I just went along with the ride. When we had finally arrived, the photographer was not very happy with us being so late. My mom, my dad, my sister, and I were all wearing matching outfits, white shirt and jeans. I can remember my hair so well because it looked so funny in the picture. I had pigtails and they were very high up on top of my head. When the photographer was placing us individually, to see what was best for the portrait, he had a hard time on to where my sister should be placed because my hair was so high up. It was covering her face a couple of times. Making the biggest smile i could, holding it for about five seconds, he took the picture. Not one of us moved a muscle. the tension in the air seemed to grow thick from everything being so still. Looking back at that picture now, all my childhood memories slowly flow back.

  7. Alycia says:

    It is amazing how you can remember that much from being that young. There are so many details in this post. My earliest childhood memory I do not recall my age. In this memory, I am in my Grandmothers basement with my little brother. He was lying on the couch playing with a toy. He was a little baby maybe around 1 which would have made me about 3 years old. In the basement there was a big box full of toys. That day we went to the circus and my Grandfather bought me a toy that had strings that lit up. To this day I still can’t remember what the toy is called. When we got home I went downstairs to find the toy that was bought for me at the circus. I went all threw the box and I couldn’t find the toy. I took the box and emptied it all over the basement floor. After searching for this one toy, my Grandfather came downstairs and laughed. He smiled at me and pulled the toy from behind his back. The whole time I was searching for this one toy he had it. Our earliest memories are very different from each other yet they have many similarities. Though yours has more specific details we were both able to recall emotions that we were feeling at that time.

  8. Emily M says:

    After reading your entry, I noticed some comparisons of your memory with my childhood memory. I also noticed some contrasting details as well. When I was about four or five I remember my mother taking me to a photographer. She thought it was very important that she capture this age because I had very thin, and very blonde hair, but at this time it was long. As my mother would put, “You actually look like a girl now!” She placed me on a small chair similiar to the one you were standing on, and told me to hold still. I rememeber slowly growing more and more frustrated throughout the photoshoot because I could not understand why my mother wanted me to do this. The final similarity I noticed was that there was a doll in your picture. I also had a doll in my picture but I can’t remember exactly what she looked like. The major contrasting detail between our photos is that my newborn baby brother was in my photo. My mother took some pictures of me holding him, and some of him in my lap. I also remember that we were wearing matching yellow outfits, but I can’t rememeber anything specific about the outfits. Another detail that was different was that my father was never there, it was just my mom. my dad worked full time so he didn’t go with us or even show up later. Our childhood memories are similar but also different in many ways. But the one thing that amazes me is that we are able to remember these small and seemingly insignificant memories from so long ago.

  9. nada says:

    I remember many of my childhood memories but none of them are from when I was the age of one. Childhood memories are what I believe are of something that had an impact oneself and made it stick in your memories. I see that it is great to remember details from when you were young at age. I would love to remember things from when I was one or two and be able to remember details of the event that occurred exactly. But no one can remember everything even if they would like to.

  10. Lexy says:

    You are very detailed in your description of the day you and your family were photographed. It is so weird how we have similar memories. I would never have thought about the day I was photographed in a chaotic environment if I had never read your blog post. When I was younger, probably a little older than you are in your picture, my sister and I were placed on top of a tall platform with a background of snowy pine trees behind me. It was Christmastime and we were in matching dresses. My mother and the photographer were both making gestures to us about where to stand and how to move, I too became immobile and confused. Similar to your story, I was being given too many orders and was distracted by other things going on. However, my story has a more abrupt ending. As a result of scooting too far, I fell off of the back of the platform. My mother and father rushed over to me to see if I was okay and of course, I was. These childhood memories take so little time to make but they remain with you forever. Memories are an amazing thing because they are a piece of who we are and no matter how hard we try, we simply just can never forget them. Thank you for reminding me of my tragic fall at the photographer studio. 🙂

  11. dominque davis says:

    I can’t remember much from when I was little, you have a great memory. I only remember bits and pieces of my childhood, things like pets and houses and a few friends. When I was in first grade, still living in Pennsylvania’ I had a dog named Homicide and a cat named Mr. Biggs. I used to taunt my dog, which wasn’t good, because he was a black k-9. I would get on top of my older brothers bunk bed and shake a bunch of socks in his face. Homicide would get so mad that I would have to wait till he calmed down or left to leave, or when my cat Mr. Biggs would get into fights with other cats and Homicide would have to get him out of it. I remember things like that. I’m sure our childhoods weren’t at all alike’ but neither any more or less exciting.

  12. Ivan says:

    I dont recall much of my childhood except for cirtain moment in my life. I was four years old at that time.

    At this time I was leaving at spain, and I remember it was a dark night that particular night. I remember I got up half way through the night.

    My mother heard me and said ” Where are you going Ivan”

    I answered To the bathroom. At that time I was also half asleep. But as I entered the bathroom I saw the biggest spider or insect I had ever seen. It looked like a giant ant. I called my father as soon as i saw it. My father came over looked at the bug and went for the broom. I remeber him saying that the bug was as large as a mice.

    After that I went back to sleep and the night was over.

  13. Casey O says:

    This post has many details. From all the memories I have from my childhood none are so elaborate and certain. Most of the memories I have are bits and pieces, flashes of good times and bad.
    This memory is also from a very young age. I don’t remember anything form when I was so young.
    A memory I have always remembered is learning to ride a bike in front of my house when I was about 5. My dad went inside for some reason or another and I continued trying. All of a sudden the sky got very dark and stormy and it started to lightning.
    Unlike your memory, mine seemed to go by extremely slow. It wasn’t a happy memory, it was actually quite frightening. I didn’t know how to react. I was always taught being outside when it was lightening was very dangerous, especially around metal.
    I can’t recall much else besides the fear, but that feeling is very strong inside me to this day.

  14. Lizzi Carpenter says:

    Sharing this memory of your childhood from such a young age makes me think if I too can recollect a memory from such a small age. To be honest I do not believe I can remember anything about myself or my experiences from such a small age. All that I can visualize is the photographs I have seen of myself; however I am unable to remember the circumstances from which they were taken. You go into so much detail about how you were feeling, and what the people around you were saying, the mood they were in, and what they were doing. From such a small age I cannot recollect any such memories. The earliest I think I can remember the same level of detail as the memory you described is at about the age of 5. I remember the time when I tried to run away from my mother. Although I cannot remember the exact reason in which I was running away, I remember everything about the act itself. I thought that I was so smart and sneaky as I got my princess backpack with the little mermaid on it and started to put together all of the things I thought I needed into it for my escape. I packed my favorite princess blanket, my favorite dress and my teddy bear. I even went to the fridge and grabbed a juice box. My mother was in her room while I was doing all of this and so it made my escape quite easy. I remember the very last thing I grabbed was a pair of sunglasses that were way too big for my face. I opened the screen door, and completed my mission. It was unexpected how bored I was. I waited and waited what felt like forever until I heard my mother scream my name and I can remember hearing her footsteps run around inside. Finally she too opened the screen door to find me drinking my juice box on my little pink chair on the balcony. I remember her laughing but at the time I had no idea what so funny, after all I was trying to prove to her I was mad at her. This moment of being found and laughed at really confused me. Unlike your story, I have no photograph of the memory and although my mom has retold me this story, I do remember every feeling I felt, what I was packing and how confused I was.

  15. Bob says:

    My memory as a young child is a little unclear. I am not able to remember much when I was a toddler. One thing I can remember though is that I would always like to debate with my parents on the smallest things. I remember when my mother would help me out in reading a book I would pronounce any word the way I thought it should be. Even though it was wrong I would still tell them my way is correct. To this day I like to debate people on many things. My way of thinking is still similar to when I was a really young child. I am still the person I was many years ago. I have always seemed to question others on why they think this way for as long as I could remember. When I would come across the word “joke” in a book I would pronounce it as “choke”. My mother would always tell me to say it as a”joke” but I was a pretty stubborn at that time.

  16. Hannah says:

    For me, some childhood memories are hard for me to remember. I wish i could remember every single memory fully. All the details, words, people, etc. There is one specific memory that I feel I remember almost everything because it was a very special memory to me.
    Every Christmas my family and I used to go to my grandmothers house. We would bring presents, make a delicious meal, and spend time with each other. I remember my grandmother always bought these boxes of christmas cookies that only came out that time of year, which everyone always looked forward to.
    One christmas when we were leaving, I said my goodbyes to everyone then I yelled one last goodbye to my grandmother at the door. This is what she said and I will always remember. She said, “Never say goodbye cause I will see you again.” Ever since that day I never said bye to another person, especially ones I loved. I always say cya layer or see you soon.

  17. Jessica S says:

    You remember a lot of details from when you were little. I don’t remember much from when I was one. I do in fact remember a few memories from when I was a little bit older then that. When I was younger my family was in to the whole photo taking too. I remember going to the mall with my parents and my aunt and uncle to take a holiday photo. I was probably around the age of 2. I was all dressed up in a really cute red Christmas dress with white stockings and a green bow in my hair. Of course I had no idea what was going on at the time. I remember everyone rushing around trying to make sure that we were all sitting in the right place so the picture would come out nice. Then came the “fun” task of trying to make me smile. The camera man pulled every trick that he had to try and make that happen but I was a stubborn 2 year old and I was not having it. After many failed attempts he gave up. I still have that picture hanging in my room. My aunt, uncle, mom, dad, and stubborn old me sitting there in my cute red Christmas dress, white stockings, and green bow in my hair not happy at all.

  18. Tiffany Steele says:

    Amazingly you have a lot of details of this one memory of your childhood. I can remember things of my childhood, some good and some bad. One memory that sticks out the most is when I was forced the live with my grandparents. The reason I used forced because I was not given a warning or a choice, it was chosen for me. Coming from my summer vacation in New York, I was about 11 year of age. I was so excited in seeing my mother and brothers in which I hadn’t seen in a couple of mouths. As we pulled up to my house it was very dark but I knew that they were waiting on my arrival, but to my surprise there was no one home. I continued to knock on the door but there was no answer. My father’s mother did not want to continue to wait and said that she will take to my grandmother’s house to wait for mother’s return. As we pulled up to my grandparents I remember feeling confused in not understanding why my mother didn’t open the when she knew I was coming home on that day. I walked very slowly because of the confusion I was having, but also excited to see my grandmother. I knocked on the door and could hear her footsteps walking to the door; she opened the door and was surprised to see me but welcomed me with open arms. She told me to go in the other room while she talked to my father’s mother. Once she got the story from her I heard the door closed and my grandmother took a deep breath and came in the room with the biggest smile. She made a plate for dinner and got things together in my room to make me comfortable. Later that week I found out that my mother took off and left me with my grandmother to raise me. That was the saddest but happiest part of my memory as a child. It serves both as happy and sad memory because I was giving the opportunity to have the child hood filled with memories I will cherish forever.

  19. Orlando Sambo says:

    My experience in comparison to the one described in your blog, “Memories: How much do we remember?” is also at a time when I was a young boy that lived in Ethiopia. I remember a time when my mom scheduled to take a family picture at this photography shack. I had dressed up in a little boy’s suit which at the time matched with my older brother and we had gone to this photography studio to take our first family picture. I remember being told how to pose for the picture and hearing my father and mother give me and my sibling directions to perfect our family picture. After the picture, I remember going out to eat with my family to have lunch. I could correlate my experience to yours because I too cherish the moments that feel so long gone but are still with me and define who I am today.

  20. Andrea Lazo says:

    This is a wonderful post, it reminded me of a day where I myself was taken to a photography studio by my father. I was about two or three years old, my nanny was tapping my small body to awaken me one morning, my room had bright shades of yellow and white due to the reflection of the sun. My nanny took me out of my small pajamas, hurried my into the shower, my bathroom was decorated with light blue decorations, sail boats, and seashells; it was very pacific, very relaxing. After the warm shower she wanted to dress me into this big, puffy, flowery, porcelain doll looking dress. In my head the dress was dreadful and itchy, but that is what my dad wanted me to wear. She took me over to the living room where she turned on the television to Barney, fed me breakfast, most likely eggs, toast and orange juice. After breakfast I played with my toys for a while I was getting a little drowsy, I was missing my nap time. My dad arrived to the house eventually, he owned a violet pickup truck with a dark purple design to it on the sides, I always thought that was an odd color choice for a man’s pickup truck but I loved playing in the back of the car. As my dad came in the house, I ran over to him, climbed on him, he reached down for me to carry me gave me a big hug, I was daddy’s little girl, he was my hero. My dad took me to his car put me in the car, fastened me in my baby car seat and drove away. I feel asleep for the entire car ride, next thing I remember was my dad waking me up at this strange looking room with while umbrellas everywhere and weird wall drapes of blue and gray shades. There was a tall chair and a smaller stole in the middle of the room. After my dad talked with this strange man, he sat on the chair and carried me on his lap. I remember the photographer urging me to smile, apparently I wasn’t doing it. Now I own that picture taken that one day. My dad is wearing a beige suit and his glasses, and I was wearing my big porcelain doll dress. In the picture I am not smiling, I have bed hair, and my eyes look outrageously big. It is a very good memory to have with me nowadays, especially because I don’t live with my dad anymore. My younger sister bothers me saying that I look like Bugsy from the movie Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler because of my big eyes. It’s amazing to have such a joy by only looking at one picture, and remember the events of that day.

  21. Chloe S says:

    I can’t believe how much detail you remember! The earliest I remember, I was probably 3 or 4. I was half-asleep, someone was carrying me out of my house, which scared me because it was dark and I couldn’t recognize who it was. I had thought it was my aunt and her boyfriend of the time, but I’m still unsure. It’s a vague memory, all I really remember is the confusion and fear, but I was so tired I didn’t even try to do anything.

    I used to worry because I’ve always had very vivid dreams, especially when I was little, and often found myself getting those dreams confused with reality. I remember occasions in which I would discuss the “situation” with a friend who was also involved, and he/she would have no idea what I was talking about.

    Since I could rarely differentiate between dream and reality, I kept mostly to myself, especially around ages 10-14, so people wouldn’t think I was insane. Now I know for a fact that my mind’s a little off, but I accept it and revel in the fact that it scares some people. The ignorance makes me laugh.

  22. Trisha says:

    I like to think I can remember certain things of my chilhood, but I am not certain. I have certain memories of moments that happened, and when I share them with my mother usually tells me it was in a video she recorded of me. So this leaves me thinking that maybe I’m unable to remember past memories so I make false ones. However I am determined to believe that I do remember.
    There is one story I felt certain I truly remembered. I was home watching a Brazilian show I really enjoyed. I was probably around two years old and having the time of my life, being easily amused like most infants with this sing along show. I remember the joy I felt from dancing alone in front of the TV so vividly. And all of a sudden a cousin of mine walks in to bother me and throws a green balloon, from a previous party we had attended, at me. Not wanting to be interrupted of the fun I was having, I remember being angry and spontaneously sitting on the balloon to pop it. That made me feel much better, so did the upset look on her face while seeing what was rest of the balloon on the floor. That is all I can remember of that moment, but I feel like it was yesterday as well.
    When I told my mother that story, of course she had a picture of me dancing in front of the TV with a green balloon beside me. I guess I hadn’t popped it yet. The feeling though cannot be portrayed in the picture. For this reason I believe I can remember certain glimpses of my past. Even if it is just a meaningless moment of joy. I do admire how much you can remember of that moment, and I wish I had such a vivid memory. I felt like I was you, while you described so realistically the moment you were going through when all of that was happening around you. Thanks for that!

  23. yousaf says:

    That was amazing, the way you remember all of the details, like your yellow shoes and you also said “ I also remember the speed of things, much too fast for me”. This shows that you have the really good memory and an amazing call back.
    I really think the ‘me’ part actually exists. Because All I remember is me. Like its hard for me to remember all the little details the way you remember, but I remember like playing with my younger sister and doing stupid things and thinking it’s we’re so cool. Our brain actually manage the storage very similar to the hard dick of the computer. The difference between our brain and hard disk is that ,Our brain is much more faster and its developmental. And there are a lot of other things about our brain that the human being couldn’t actually understand yet, Like our subconscious part of the brain. It’s like a totally different man inside a person. So the thing here is that why everyone couldn’t remember everything.? It’s because our we are so busy remembering little things happening in our daily life. So there’s this one school of thought that if one start writing all the little stuff instead of remembering it.. like if you want to buy new shoes.. just write it down. This will give you time to remember stuff that you don’t right now.
    At the end I would like to tell everyone which like I really like in the story “the me inside of me comes to the surface and I am the one year old Danuta on the chair again, as if there was no time that past between then and now.”

  24. Khomkrit says:

    There is a similarity and difference that, as I read the story, that reflects on my experience in the past. One similarity is when I was a child, I felt less confident and uncomfortable when my mother wasn’t in my sight. One upon the day, there was an annual festival in my neighborhood in Thailand, I was walking around with my mom walking along my side, suddenly I was attracted by the toys. When I turned back, my mom wasn’t with my and at that moment, I felt very uncomfortable and nervous a the same time, and I cried. My mom rush to me and picked me up. By then, I never let go my mom’s hand. A difference is when I have to get photograph, my mom didn’t care how I posted. She always told to be as natural as I can. My mom had a camera with her all the time so she can photograph my activities. All in all, I now understand what the “me” is.

  25. Andrea says:

    Most early childhood memory of mine are just small glimpses into the past, but there are a few instance where I can remember an entire incident.
    I can remember when I was about three and my mom and I went to the local drug store. I could speak just fine, but at that age I simply wouldn’t if there was anyone else around. So because I wouldn’t respond we both had these little bell anklets; that way whenever we were moving I could just listen instead of speak. We were waiting at the pharmacy counter, and of course I got restless and walked around. I saw a little stuffed zebra on the way in I wanted to check out again. I went over to it and squeezed him and he sang “it’s a small, small world…….’. I walked around with him looking for my mom, but she wasn’t where I walked away from. I looked everywhere for her, up and down each isle. I didn’t see her anywhere, I didn’t hear the bells anywhere. I saw her standing in the card isle after searching for her for what seemed like forever. I tugged on her dress and she turned around. It wasn’t her!I ran away shocked. I heard a jingling sound, I ran toward it. It was a man with a bunch of keys! This kept happening. I thought she left me there. i was so upset, I was going to walk home by myself. I walked to the door and there she was standing still reading a magazine. I was so relieved.

  26. Heather says:

    My memories are almost always emotions, not details like yours. My early memories have even less detail. Here are a few that I’m pretty sure took place before age 4.

    I remember being pushed on a swing by my father and a close family friend, one on one side and one on the other. They tickled me while they pushed. Was it cold outside? Was my dog there? Where we even in my backyard? I have no idea, but I remember giggling until I thought I might collapse.

    I remember coloring with my mother in a coloring book and being frustrated to the point of giving up because I couldn’t make the colors stay in the lines like she could.

    I remember rolling down the stairs when my mother returned from the hospital after giving birth to my sister because I was so excited to see her. I felt pure joy sprinkled with a little pain, as I hit my head on the stairs going down.

    I remember burying my face in my dog Chelsea’s fur when I was crying and the patient way she laid there and let me cry. I can still remember the smell of her fur. It feels like comfort.

    I remember being terrified because a little girl who was older and bigger than me trapped me in a laundry room at an apartment complex. There were 2 exits and she raced back and forth between them, holding them shut when I tried to open them. It was my notoriously loud voice that got my mother’s attention 2 floors up and led to my rescue. My voice made me feel powerful that day.

  27. […] hair is dark and rather short.  I wish she had a longer hair.  This is my second doll.  The first one’s eyes didn’t close and made her look like she was always somewhere else and never with me.  […]

  28. Monica Boorboor says:

    I was told that I should write and share my story about my parents who were born during WW1 and lived through the invasion in Poland and were sent to labor camps and then DP camps. I was born in Germany in a DP camp and have photos and a story to tell. Your blog was recommended and after reading it , I find this well done and inspirational. I hope that I can make my blog as interesting as yours. I also started putting a memoir together, it will take time.

    • Danuta Hinc says:

      I encourage you to write about your parents. Think of all the people/students doing research on WW1. Your story might turn out to be invaluable to them. Also, if you would like to guest post on my blog — please, let me know. You can contact me through my email: dhinc44@gmail.com