The ballot didn’t fit, because my hands shook uncontrollably.
The year I was eligible to vote for the first time, I announced to my parents that I would tell the communist officials at the voting place that I know it is all a sham. This is what eighteen-year-olds do, they announce their bravery, while the elders look at them with fear and pride. When I left the house that day, I carried myself with certainty and resolve suitable for someone who was about to change the world.
Everyone knew that elections in communist Poland were elections in name only, because no one was ever elected.
First, the purpose of elections was to construct the illusion of the government’s legitimacy, and not to offer a choice on the ballot. Even when other approved political groups existed, the ballot contained only names endorsed by the ruling communist party. Applications for independent candidacy were always rejected. In some cases, independent candidates were in fact trusted communist sympathizers whose role was, specifically, to suggest the existence of options, when in fact every candidate on the ballot was an appointee.
